i am beautiful

i wish.

fuhlamak !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! y is my holiday lik this one.
make me feel so freaking feel lik a piece of shit. useless. worthless.
y am i so negative lik this.
i am becoming so random.
and i'm so worry that this might interfere with my acedemic performance already

SO how does this this theory apply
oh then maybe i would answer by saying that "when i've become more beautiful then i will have answer to this"
ok now i don't know how did i get to this point.

i'm so bored.
boifriend's sick
den i have no life already ?! WTF Y AM I SO SAD
i think i sort of have the idea of y am i behaving lis this
i'm so traditional, i am so lik my mom
u see, when my mom married to my Mr. Chia and become Mrs.Chia at the most beautiful age of 21 oh wait mayb only 20 because it hadn't passed her birthday yet
YER SO YOUNG !!!!!
she stopped working and then hav to stay home and become a housewife awwwww
and den she had babies
so her whole life is juz lik dat
besides her father, her 2 brothers, her son, and den now william
i think she hasn't been really interact with other guys
HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
wtf mom i'm sorry did i make you sound gay
oh yea mayb some random men in market when she needs to buy things from them wtf

so i've restricted myself
and my situation is becoming worse
when you scoped down your friends circle
your scope is narrowed
and then you tend to think like a woman which is so bad to an undescripted stage.
i don't think i rely much on my bf
but i jz let him take control of everything
watever it is, i'm responsible to all of it !!!!!!!!!!
awww .... i'm sucha failure, but i can't help it

it's juz lik, when the bf sick, i would think it's so bad if i still hang out with friends or somethign
and it's nearly impossible to go out wit other guys
because den it's not loyal to him WTF AHAHAHAHAHAHHA i should be hung to death !!!!!!
HAHAHAHHAHA WTF WTF WTF I CANNOT BELIEVE WAT I JUZ TYPED
Y AM I SO OLD FASHION LIKE AN AH MA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahhahahahhahahaha
ok i shall not continue ashame myself here
i think afterall i'm juz lazy to ask somone out.

ok tmr is the day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
waited for one good week

i'm so sian

so fucking sian that i wanna throw tantrum at everyone

i should get a part time job.

a note for my special someone: i feel lik i've spend my half life waiting for you.
and you spend your whole life having fun like a kid.

why am i becoming so shallow and vulgar.... hate to admit, but yea more stupid too

it's all chaos out there, advise is not to go KL
block and jamming everywhere
because of the politics scaldals
Malaysia, is a blessed country, free of almost all kind of natural disaster despite the unfortune tsunami and all.
but why the politicans wanna make things so ugly
and fuck them all they said just so don't make sense at all
i'm not specifying anyone unless you wanna admit and yea HANDCUFF ME fuck you
so annoying lor.
stop playing with the anal game la.
even if he did so wat !
you scare he will play your backside so catch him b4 he does izit wtf damn annoying

there were so many break in cases happen in my neighbourhood
broke into the house and stole good car at dark night.
it's locked gates mind u.
damn scary ok.
only few houses away from mine. scared.
and you don't wanna knoe how near the police station is
less than one minute drive.
wtf
HELLO POLICE
you have something better to do

hmm

it's so difficult
i duno wat are we waiting for
everyone is so busy
and it seems like none can work when not all ppl are here
mayb i'm not used to waiting

everyone has different thinking
different priority
different characteristic
haven started, but i'm getting less and less passionate already
might be tired of waiting i don't know.
hope things will get better when everyone gets involve.

life crisis

i'm having a crisis in life.
it's so bad that i feel likei 'm gonna die.

and i want to die.

F R I E N D S

hello, this entry is here because i'm inspired by my beiber's latest entry abt friendship
i think my reply will be too long to fir the chat box so i just reply through writing a new blog entry here lo hehe

interpersonal relationship is always so complicated and it's really hard that some ppl might not master it in their entire life
some ppl are so cheapo that they don't have any friends at al.
it actually depends how you look at things
sometimes when you really are too busy until you din get to contact with some friends, it's really forgivable that they didn't ask u at the 1st place
2 possibilities
- they thought of you, but thinking you might be busy so just don't wanna make the afford
- they really forgot about you because they have been a big gang and u joined someway at the middle, for once, you all always hang out lik siaos, but then when for one time when u're busy they become the original gang again.

there are always some external factor that we are not in control.
i think.
friends, we don't need alot.
we only need some that really love us. really care of us.
but when you have such friends, don't too fussy about who take the initiative to contact who, or who would care about who 1st or stuffs like that.
if you do that, i'm sorry but u'll feel lonely forever. i think. hahah.
you must have to believe that, when you show that u're in some trouble, or u tell them
they will always... always be there for u.
everyone has their own business to be taken care of

sometimes being friends just cannot be too calculative.
and learn to accept and let go.
but some attitute that we cannot tolerate, we give up.
when they don't even care to make any afford to safe the friendship, we watch it dies.
simple.
but it's always easier to say than done.
friends, are memang a complicated issue to deal with.

wtf make me emo oso
wanted to chill ppl somemore wtf
cis.

fucking act cute

i fucking cannot stand ppl acting cute lor.
STOP THE PEACE SIGN ALREADY !!!!

YEW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the world changed !!!

what are those young ppl thinking now arh ?! god i should use my fertility wisely.

ZOE YAP

for so long so long that i wanted to dedicate a post to you
but i shy
it's very reluctant for me to tell ppl how i get started with my bf
becoz somehow i feel sorry to you
... it's like... i've taken something from you, i beleive that was what ppl thought as well, and so do you. though you have never disclosed to me, but i know how much you hated me
but i can't ... i can't hide my curiousity abt you
in my eyes you are pretty
in my ears, you are a bitch
in my mind, i feel bad abt u
in my heart, i am so jealous of u
i know in his heart u can't even compete wit me bcoz u know y
and i dun wanna mentioned what u did to him
it's so funny when i read from your blog that how u nv intended to hurt anyone lik dat
lik what u said, big fat wat wat story tale lie (wa u memang lik to show off ur english)
u're definitely a person full of lies.
i do not like you. because i'm so jealousy lik that.

and yea i'm so idiotic to post up something like this.
but i cannot keep this in my heart.
ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i blame this all on the exam stess.
cis.

i'm a god damned procastinator

and i hate myself for being one lik dat.

Stalker

man oh man, i can be a real good stalker ain't i
i don't know if ppl around me realise this crazy thing abt me
but i'm so obsessed with pretty things... including people. yes people.
when i spotted pretty person, i would really look straight to them, spot them whenever i think thye have chances to be there and so...
and i would really admire them... huhuhu... damn stoopid yeap.
but i can't help it.
u see, i said i chase after the ultimate beauty. i love to see pretty thing coz i couldn't see it in me.
..... PATHETIC LA yeayeayea......

i don't think i could get rid of this crazy bit of mine in a short while, if not forever hehe
i have damn skin now, y the jits just couldn't get lost already !!!!!
grrrrr damn irritating, they have been with me for over 2 years u see.... 2 years ok.
i have enough !!!!!!!!!!!!! get off !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
damn sad looking at my face
sian already when ppl around keep asking wat happned to ur face, ur skin used to be so nice wan... huhuhu... yea stop digging my pain, i duno wat happened too. thanks for ur concerns
low self esteem
i feel lik i have nth now... i mean in me la
u see, gained weight, i think i'm becoming a 60 kg monster wtf !!!!!
and yes the damn face
and where is the brain. ppl who failed the mid term shit, bad bad feeling bad feeling pls dun fail me for the grade pls.... pls... nv feel so worry b4, cz i don't wanna take the same subject and go through the same damn torture again pls
oh yea tmr final wat am i doing here i duno wtf

hmm ... yea i think i'm PMS-ing...
is dat y i got into constant fight with the boifriend ?
poor thing, i'm so sorry ... i know u're not reading this, but i'm sorry i feel so bad for u lar dump me pls. no i'm kidding.
ok i think i'm having pre-exam stress
pre-exam stress plus pms plus pissing about the skin problem and den worry abot the weight
........ god am i gonna die soon ? i can't take dat much burden

wtf me... ok i'm being so pointless
some good thing...
my college babes are the ones i should really appreciate... they r so cute
and i really really hope they would still be the same after ten years
i don't wan it to be lik 2 years later when they contact me again
"Belle, interested in buying insur?" .............. ARH annoying...
dat might happen, cz someone else did dat already, direct sale, wanted to earn quick money eh.
hopefully they could succeed la... but too bad i'm not supporting.

sigh there are just alot of things i feel lik talking suddenly...
but i can't, gotta go back to do the damn revision.
cis.
good luck everyone.
hugs ~

someone

i have very low sense of security feeling.
sometimes i would feel that the conenction is not there with my close ones.......
i only need.... someone who would make me feel that i'm so precious and important to them



and now i'm all alone again
i can only blame noone but myself for that.