i feel like i'm nth

i think right at the beginning...
i'm already a failure.
because i always plan so far.
and the plans never go how i want them to be.


no fancy pictures....
no fancy outings......
my life is so dull
damn it i jz feel lik i wanna die.
i hope i can start everything over again.


so i'm very active in finding jobs again.
reason being, i don't think i'm really that capable to run my own business wtf.
the other day i went for an interview with Citibank.
sigh, another chinese speaking work place.
i wonder if it's all fate.
why do all english ppl get to work with english ppl.
and ppl like me would jz have a cina speaking work place ?
i need someone to enlighten my English ma.
hmm, so talking about the interview, that was actually a sales position.
Internet credit card sales.
haih, sales is not my thing, but they said min is up to 3K a month.
quite tempting but u have to talk till your tongue rots everyday ler.
and with very high risk of getting scolded.
becz you would always annoy the hell out of ppl.
not sure if wanna take that job anot.
it's so far eh. and you know the traffic in KL. being stuck in the traffic jam everyday is not funny.

happy deepavali ppl.
arh those art thing is so nice.
i like the color and the blings.
haihz. kinda regretted to go UK eh.
gotta spent so much there, so i'm now very constraint with the spending,
don;t like :(
it's sales everywhere and i can't buy a thing !!
yer !
YER !!!!!
i hate that feeling when i'm broke.
ok citibank mayb i should go to you wtf.
the reason why i'm updating this blog so often is
yea, firstly damn free.
holiday and my boifrend only knows to sleep !!!! so pissed ar !!!!
he edi slept till 11am today ok. now still sleep.
damn i wan a new boyfriend i mean it ! so sian hokay.
fuck it i'm so annoyed i don't know what exactly i'm pissed of.
i'm very in love with this new keyboard.
it's kinda like a macbook's keyboard for desktop heheh
i like i like i like.
that's why i keep on typing with it. hoho.
other day i tried to connect this keyboard to my lappie and do the typing hahaha
yea i'm so addicted liddat.
very stupid indeed.
ciao ~
watching cloudy with a change of meatballs tonite !
hope it's nice hehhehe.
3D yo !!

Growing up

some people said, hey look groing up is not as scary as it seems to be
well others might say, i don't wanna grow up, studying is honeymoon period in everyone life.
i hate to say this, but i'm beginning to see things as how it is right now.
sorry to say this post would be another gloomy Belle's pattern entry yay.

as time passed by, you get to experience with alot of things, and that lessons that you've learned from there, is a process of growing. it's impossible that you have learned nothing.
there is a saying, there is no story not worth listening.
i cannot agree more.
even i've worked a short while in compumed this kinda stupid company, i learned about how to pick the right boss as well.
learned things about labour law, how to protect yourself from wicked HR.
and most importantly, i started to think about responsibility.
think about what and where i want myself to be.
this process is surely tough, and it ain't easy.
for people like me, i would say i'm well protected, in term of you know, economically.
i never need to worry about money.
not saying i come from a wealthy family, but well i manage to get more than i need.
but today, i think i'm kinda contaminated.
as in, i've become so brand conscious.
i feel like, hey i want to get a bag that people could call it by names, and damn i want to get that designer's brand to wear on.
and that's what is way beyond i could afford. and at age of 23, it would be so shameful to get money from dad already.
i wanna make a wish list. by age of 30 i wish i would be making annual income of well "240000K"
which is after deducting my luxurious expenses e.g make up, skin care, facial, gym, entertainment, traveling, charity, sponsoring parents to trip etc <3

ok so where am i again ?
oh i'm sorry talking about growing up,
i'm very aware that people around are so ambitious.
so ambitious until i feel that they are making friends with purpose.
like, it's not purely friendship thing anymore.
it frighten me, becz i feel lik i'm very innocent kinda ppl.
mayb i'm obsessed with the boundary thing. crap, like if i called my friends for a date, and i'm not suppose to mention anything about money, or business. that's not right.

i'm making this so complicated.
what i was trying to say is, i don't like making friends with a purpose.
and i really don't like people who approach other with purpose.
i'm very extreme is these cases
1. i would be very inferior when you don't wish to friend me, cz i would think i'm so worthless.
2. i would be very disgusted by your attitute when i know you wanna friend me for a purpose.

u know what... i'm really a sensitive person.
i used to be so proud, so proud that i'm right in all senses.
but today i regret so much on who i used to be.
now i jz need to get rid of the damn pounds, and get my social network back to life.

How the Hell

hi, been a while since i last updated yea ?
well, thought for a while and really, there is nth to be updated.
jz some same old crap that u don't wanna hear me brag abt it.
like seriously.
arh ok la, hey
at least i updated more often then the rest. huhuhu.
lik u know michelletehtiffanysohmingziandvernmay
which then reminds me of... how they are being busy wit work wtf.
i'm so screwed !

so cute

arh so cute my new layout <3
hello it's me again !
hahha being quite active lately !
so today Travis Ng went back to UK la, flight at 9 am. i'm gonna see him in 2 months time !
so excited hahaha.
teehee not excited cz i'm gonna see him again, but the trip with ze boifriend ! arh ~
romance here i come.
i told him let's get married in France.
loser, i think this is the n times i proposed to him already.
yea i'm so shameless liddat. yay.
really need to save up for the trip.
arh talking abt the e-shop, i'm all geared up, but can't launch it yet
becz i have totally no idea how to use that bloody photoshop ouch !
feeling damn noob
trial and error hor, liddat oso doesn't work and it's killing me now !

so i've jz celebrated my 23rd birthday :)
with my beloved friends.
i feel very insignificant to my family cz they nv celebrate birthday for me T____T
thanks to lao ma, chiad, ck, huey syg. they really shined my birthday.
and of cz my dearest bunch of lengs ~ Tiffuhni Sorh, Zizizi, Michelle the zyenn, Vern.
muuah ~ loveeeeeeeeee u all
cake is so lovely !!! i like it so much !
and tadaaaaaaa
very rare, cz i'm posting up picchas !
oh well mayb not, connection too slow edi.
next time maybe woohoo ~

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