that's it.

so that's it. i'm done with everything.
don't want anymore interception. pray pray pray everything goes well.
am looking for a job now :(
i really miss the girls. i miss the time when we all get together laughing at each other.
those were the days :(
very free now, stay at home forever (rawang is considered as my 2nd home).
i'm such a boring person !!!! friends working already.
thesis defense didn't go to well i guess.
didn't really present anything. they were asking so much questions and yea, tho i manage to answer, they didn't seem to satisfy with it. wuhuhuhu. i was so nervous until i begin to sweat in air con room, and need to wipe away sweat on my forehead.
that was how nervous i am.
but i can never feel so relieve after the defense. pheeew ~
duno what to work as. very fan !!!!!
officially hunting for a job now, wanted to start on May, duno if it's possible.
awww.... my resume doesn't seem too attractive oso. sigh.
hope Vern enjoys her UK trip, and it seems like everyone is going to UK too hahahha
right, hope they could suggest places to visit to after they came back
as i am also going by the end of the year ! can't wait !!!
only problem now is pounds, the currency seems to be increasing, but alot of rumour saying UK bank is going a really rough time and going to bankrupt anytime soon.
if lik dat the pounds, the money would have become plain paper wei.
sigh.
so fan.
wtf.
i find that my entry has never have any proper ending.
today i shall end this post by saying the end. WTF.
the end.

ish

life cannot be happier without college. at least for now. hehe.
thesis due, final's over, upcoming is the defense.
but i can't feel more relieve.
oooh, life.
tmr vern flying to UK, hereby, wish her sun sun lei lei, have a nice and safe trip :)
everyone's doing their own things, and i'm looking for a well paid job
bcz i'm in need of $$$.
arh, life.
overheard some kids' conversation the other day
"the teacher very good one, let us play in her class"
"wa my teacher better lo ! she even allow psp"
wtf ?
ahahhahahhahhahhaha but bring back alot of school time memory...
thinking back of the old times really makes me wanna go back even more.
just when i am about to finish uni, suddenly i miss my girls so much so much.
wish those times we've spent together, the jokes, the class replacements.
the assignments, how we encourage each other and how we look at each others' stress look
how we have small fights over projects.
oooh i just miss those days.
becz it's over, and it would never come back.......
all i can think about now is to maintain the friendship.
hope that we won't change to much, if do, to a better self i hope :)
good luck everyone.

with love :)

fate

i think this should make a really good research topic.
but it's not science.
it's hard, if not impossible to measure, to compare, to make hypothesis, to validate to test the realiabilty so on and so forth.
i might use meta analysis, but that could drive you nuts becauce u will then have no idea of what am i trying to say.
....
sometimes, i feel that when it's not meant to be then it's not.
i think i'm a creepy creature.
i am made up of money. but seriously, without money, how can one survive right.
even if you wanted to plant vege or feed chicken on your own, you would need money to buy soil, to buy fertiliser and so on right.
now i gotta admit i calculate too much. i'm too calculative, and i'm too busybody.
it's so hard to live a happy life like me.
by chance, i visited a blog of an old friend of mine, we lost contact for years, and we are no longer friends.
and her bf treated her very well i would say.
sometimes i would think, becasue i have the strong urge to see beautiful things
and i can't be with someone whom i do not like their physical appearance... i lost chances.
i let go some guys that i might love to spend my whole life with.
i got togehter wth my current bf becasue i adore his face. i'm serious, i even thick skin enough to be friended him when he had a gf back then.
sigh.
i duno, i believe in karma one.
i love new experience, i love surprises i love to try out new things and i like people who are innovative and have vision for future.
i duno how come i never met any friends that could become my BFF..
i started to think it's my problem.
no one is perfect i know.
but i believe that some people could just click so well that they can become BFF
when they have arguements they could talk about it not feeling offensive and defensive.
i am so tired in maintaining friendship.
because i feel that when i disclose too much, people tend to step over the boundary
they do not self-reflect. and i hate that feeling.
i begin to dislike them.
because i think they are wrong and i know they can't take opinion.
they would cry and say i'm mean.
that's how i would feel after sometime when i got really close with someone.
thinking back i really didn't have much close girl friends.
i'm sucha failure.
or my perception is wrong....
close friends don't need to disclose that much to each other
i don't know.
i'm so contradicting i'm afraid i'm gonna be crazy someday.
this is a free flow writing so i'm not thinking appropriately, so do not feel offensive i'm not talking about anyone, i'm jz talking about myself.
and seriously, i love the feeling of being pampered too.