i personally think i'm a fast learner
but i learned fast, and i forget fast.
unless it's very traumatic or severe problem.
the thing is, today i'm going to blog in proper english, with correct grammar and spelling.
talking about learning, and being a fast lerning, most of the time i would like to think about the hiding message of every single things that have been happening around me.
by saying often, i mean that, most of the time that i am aware of.

from these 22 years, i really think i have changed alot.
i used to be a very unlikable kid, seriously bad temper, unthoughtful, princessy.
mom, i pity you for having me as your daughter :(
and i'm truly sorry.

princessy continued until i was 12 years old, so i barely have good memory during primary school.
and i would not want to meet them back.
i would not want to have gathering with them
i cannot forget how those teachers favorism towards those "good-looking" student, those daughter/son of the school teacher.
it's so bad.
they sang so badly, yet was always won prizes in competition.
but my parents never taught me about to behave/ to deal with people out there.
my mom only canned me, and then i cried, and then i hated her.
that's it.

then i started to become a real sweet pie.
i brought cakes to school for my friends.
i bought real expensive dessert for them, with my own pocket money.
so i was an idiot.
besides thank you. besides the instant smile.
what else did i get?
yes, Belle is a sweetheart.
but i was so fat, guys discriminated me.
pretty girls thought i should exist to enhance their beauty.
yes that makes me a pesimistic.
quoted a girl who thought i couldn't hear her "yer, why she so ugly one."
today, i'm prettier than you.
inside out :)

but then i realized that was not what i want.
why bothering to become a sweetheart when i get nothing?
so i only entertain people whom i like, and who like me back.
friendship is a mutual thing.
bear in mind.
a single fight can ruin the friendship, don't bother saving it.
because you know, it doens't worth it.
nothing can go on forever without conflict.
but when i found my true self.
i become fat again.

eh this is suppose to be a seriously post.
but then don't know why i found it hilarious.
today i know how important friendship is.
it's the pleasure i could never experience with the boyfriend.
it's freedom.
it's craziness :)
it's sweetness.
it's challenge.
please cherish me like the way i do.
please don't hesitate to date me becasue i have a boyfriend.
why didn't i date them 1st, becasue someone used to say, yea becasue your boyfriend isn't free.
so here we are.

and i was so embarrassed.

i need someone who understands me.

with love.


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