learning

i personally think i'm a fast learner
but i learned fast, and i forget fast.
unless it's very traumatic or severe problem.
the thing is, today i'm going to blog in proper english, with correct grammar and spelling.
so,
talking about learning, and being a fast lerning, most of the time i would like to think about the hiding message of every single things that have been happening around me.
by saying often, i mean that, most of the time that i am aware of.

from these 22 years, i really think i have changed alot.
i used to be a very unlikable kid, seriously bad temper, unthoughtful, princessy.
mom, i pity you for having me as your daughter :(
and i'm truly sorry.

princessy continued until i was 12 years old, so i barely have good memory during primary school.
and i would not want to meet them back.
i would not want to have gathering with them
i cannot forget how those teachers favorism towards those "good-looking" student, those daughter/son of the school teacher.
it's so bad.
they sang so badly, yet was always won prizes in competition.
but my parents never taught me about to behave/ to deal with people out there.
my mom only canned me, and then i cried, and then i hated her.
that's it.

then i started to become a real sweet pie.
i brought cakes to school for my friends.
i bought real expensive dessert for them, with my own pocket money.
so i was an idiot.
besides thank you. besides the instant smile.
what else did i get?
yes, Belle is a sweetheart.
but i was so fat, guys discriminated me.
pretty girls thought i should exist to enhance their beauty.
haha.
yes that makes me a pesimistic.
quoted a girl who thought i couldn't hear her "yer, why she so ugly one."
today, i'm prettier than you.
inside out :)

but then i realized that was not what i want.
why bothering to become a sweetheart when i get nothing?
so i only entertain people whom i like, and who like me back.
friendship is a mutual thing.
bear in mind.
a single fight can ruin the friendship, don't bother saving it.
because you know, it doens't worth it.
nothing can go on forever without conflict.
but when i found my true self.
i become fat again.

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA.
eh this is suppose to be a seriously post.
but then don't know why i found it hilarious.
:)
today i know how important friendship is.
it's the pleasure i could never experience with the boyfriend.
it's freedom.
it's craziness :)
it's sweetness.
it's challenge.
please cherish me like the way i do.
please don't hesitate to date me becasue i have a boyfriend.
why didn't i date them 1st, becasue someone used to say, yea becasue your boyfriend isn't free.
so here we are.

and i was so embarrassed.

i need someone who understands me.

with love.